Saturday, October 24, 2009

Mommy Day

Mommy Day

My house is a mess, In disarray,

In desperate need of Mommy Day!

Kids, Dogs, stepping on my toes,

Diaper smell linger in my nose,

A cup of milk spills on the floor,

Damn solicitors at my door!

Anything with caffeine please

Coffee, redbull, chocolate, teas.

Yelling screaming little boys,

Mommy tripping over toys!

“Out of the Kitchen!

Stop banging on that!

Don’t jump on the couch,

Stop bugging the cat!

Can’t you hear me

When I say,


Dishes pile in the sink,

No time to sit,

No time to think,

No time to even use the phone,

No time for me,

No time alone.

Sometimes It feels a tad insane,

Advil for the Headache pain,

Smile gets me through the day,

Try not to stress or to complain. ( to much!)

I can’t believe it’s the 24th hour,

Since I’ve changed my clothes or

Taken a shower!

Evening shift,

Get boys fed,

Bath, teeth, story

Then time for bed.

Date night, What’s that?

I could use one of those,

But right now I’d rather

Watch my shows!

I sit and reflect

About my crazy day

But honestly I wouldn’t

Have it any other way!

I creep in their room

Kiss them goodnight

And think to myself

“ I’ve done something right!”

- Nicole

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

DAMN! I have a 6 year old!

6 years ago this last weekend, at 7:00 pm I was talking to my aunt on the phone, in a lot of pain. She said " Nicole I think you are in labor" I called Nic and he had some big wig coming in that day to work so I had to hold out for a couple hours until he got home. I was so scared and the pain was so bad. Nic got home and we went in. They told me that I should go home because I wasn't ready... I told them " Hell NO, I'm not going ANYWHERE" so instead, they had us walk around the hospital for two hours. I was walking and every couple min I had to squat and grunt really loud. It looked like I was shitting my pants, the janitor just laughed every time. I didn't think it was to funny at the time. Finally they gave me a room, but where were the meds?!? The "Natural" method had already been thrown out the window! No way! give me something! 34 babies born in the same hospital that dark Chicago night! 34! That meant I was on a waiting list for the epidural. I was going to have this boy natural..If there is a God, Lord help me. This is going to be a long night! I remember the Yankees world series game was on. I could care less but it gave Nic something else to watch besides me puking in a bucket. Finally when I could not handle the pain anymore (30 min from pushing) I got the epidural. It was the best relief of my life! A train could have ran over me and I would and be making "pull your horn" signals.I couldn't feel a thing! 2:40 in the morning I remember Nic say " He's got hair, a lot of black hair!" 2:45 our cheese was born " Whats his name" Doc asked Nic looked at me " Vincent? yeah" and of course to spoil the moment the doc had to say " Thats my dads name" uhhggg...we had just name our child after an 80 year old man, who we didnt even know...haha, but he is a Vincent, He is definitely strong just like his name =). Now we have a 6 year old that is stubborn, crazy, loud, independent, but also, loving, nurturing, smart with a big heart! I am so proud of us for creating such wonderful boys, they are going to do great things some day!
Its hard to have a 6 year old and be young, I will always be "cool mom" because Im young and fun,but when he's a teen it may not be "cool mom" anymore, It will probably be "go away mom, your so annoying and embarrassing!" haha. For now it's hard because other moms don't really give me a chance. I am assuming my age ( plus I look younger then 25) I am really outgoing, have a lot of interesting things to say ( I watch a lot of tv & news=), I could probably make them laugh, but many ignore me. It suck, Maybe they think I am to young and I don't have anything to say that would be interesting. Maybe they just think I'm the Nanny. Seriously, why do women have to be such snobby bitches. Us moms need to stick together! Ok maybe I should save this entry for my next blog. So, back this weekend. We went to see "UP" the movie, if you havent seen it, see it! Maybe its PMS, but I cried. I had to pretend my cold was acting up becasue I didnt want everyone to know I was crying in a Disney movie. I am such a sap... I cry in commercials, its kind of pathetic I know. Im emotional, and being a little nutz doesn't help either! Also, decorated for Halloween! Whoo hooo! I love Halloween, My oldest is allergic to peanuts so I always get half his candy....haha. Ok, well I need to go pick up my son from school and say hi to the snobby bitches that never say hi back. "kill em with kindness" It probably drives them crazy, I love it!

Soon to be Maxed Out

Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.
Everyone around my age is graduated/ing or getting their masters and I am going to be starting school! Thats OK though. I am so excited to start this new chapter in my life. I haven't even begun yet but I already feel more confident in myself and what I can accomplish! I went to the Nurse's meeting this morning to get a view of what I am getting myself into. I think my life is chaotic now...Its about to get worse, in a better kind of way. I feel like a nerd saying this but I am excited to learn!! I will probably be one of those older student's that are super annoying because they are always raising their hand in class and asking questions. Oh well, I want this and I'm going to achieve it, no matter what it takes! With two kids, a PT job, and school. I may feel overwhelmed, but I have to remember that I am not just doing this for myself I am doing this for my family too. I just have to stay focused on the outcome. Right now I am a waitress and although its fun and good money for now, I don't want to be a 50 year old waitress ( not that there is anything wrong with it!) It's just not what I want to do forever. My new job is fun though It's like I'm getting paid to get out of the house a little during the week =). It will be nice extra cash to have while I am in school. Off to clean I go. TaTa for now!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Who am I & where did Nicole go?

Nico, thats who I became when I met Nic. I't was October 11th, 2002 that day changed my life! I became pregnant at 18, then up and left with my boyfriend to Chicago to start our new life together after only knowing eachother for 5 months. Crazy I know! Our lives have been backwards, but after 7 years, I would have to say... I wouldn't have it any other way! 7 years laters, Im a little older, with 2 boys and excited to find out "Who I am today!?"
Outlets, we all could use them. When you plug something in what happens? Electricity. If you stick something else into an outlet, what happens? Spark. That's exactly it! Spark! I need an outlet to put a little spark into my life! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being a mom, and girlfriend to my wonderful Man ( baby daddy =) of 7 years but Being at home, I have lost myself in dirty diapers, cleaning, and taking care of my family. Again, I would not have it any other way, but I have been stopping more frequently and asking myself.... "Aside from a fabulous young mom housewife, ( 7 years, common law right?!?!) Who am I? I drive Nic crazy with this thought because like every simple man he says " well just go out and do something for yourself." Yeah, that's a wonderful Idea if I knew what I wanted to do or even better.... If I had someone to do it with! What do I like? Well, at this point in my life, I like talking to adults! Nic can contest to that! He walks in the door and I am worse then that annoying dog that doesn't stop humping your leg. I follow him around they house telling him about all the things that the boys did, where we should vacation if we ever get a chance and extra money, all the "facts" that I learned that day, the quiz that I took in my magazine (because those articles don't lie), what Dr. Phil was about, what size & color Cheech's ( my youngest, not really his name but we will talk about that later) poop was, how many time I had to yell to Cheese ( my oldest, Again not his real name, Im not like Gywnath P. and name my kids after food) "Stay out of the Kitchen!" Nobody wants to hear about my mommy adventures, especially other women my age! At least Nic has no choice in the matter. If he is at least pretending to listen, I'm happy! Yes, I am 25 with a 6 and a 2 year old! That's my crazy fun life but between my youth and double tall lattes, I do just fine! Ok, so back to the outlet, spark, electricity saying I came up with ( which I would have to say I think is pretty clever). I am making this my year. Its Nico time! I am going to be the "YES GIRL" Ok, that sounds a little dirty, let me explain.... I am going to say yes to just about anything and everything! Well, maybe that didnt clarify well enough. I am going to try new things & make a list of what I want in life and do it! Here is my list so far.....
1. I am going to blog, get stuff off my chest so I don't have to drive my man crazy with my compulsive thinking! I can drive others crazy with my compulsive writing!
2. Nic and I are going to go on more dates, If you can hear your child whining in the background, it does NOT count as a date.
3. I am going to go back to school. Now this is a big one, especially during this economy chaos. I want to set an example for my boys, learn something new, and prepare myself for the future.
4. Take a family vacation, A change of scenery is always good.
5.Learn to snowboard because its something Nic likes and I want to be able to share that with him.
6. Take a class or classes, maybe a wine class. I am working part time in a wine bar and have become so interested in wine. Maybe a salsa dancing class, where I can learn to shake my booty like Shikira, I wish. I also want to take a spanish class, learning a new language would be so great. 7. Volunteer " The purpose of life, is a life of purpose"
8. Have Girl nights!( First I have to finds some girls to have them with..haha) away from our men so we can talk about them over drinks! Yeah, I like that one.
These are a few on my mind. I feel like we only get one life so we need to explore and enjoy it and ourselves. I also believe if you are happy with who you are, you will be a better mother for it. I have been through quite the journey as a young mom. My mom passed in labor when I was 18, I had a baby a year later now my oldest has an uncle that is only a year older then him. I haven't had my mom to help with the mommy thing or give me advice, or really any mother to help me through this journey. It was been my own and how I have managed. All I have to do is look at my boys when they smile and I know I have done well so far. Ok, now excuse me while I go put Cheese in time out for yelling at his Cheech who is now crying! =)