Friday, October 16, 2009

Who am I & where did Nicole go?

Nico, thats who I became when I met Nic. I't was October 11th, 2002 that day changed my life! I became pregnant at 18, then up and left with my boyfriend to Chicago to start our new life together after only knowing eachother for 5 months. Crazy I know! Our lives have been backwards, but after 7 years, I would have to say... I wouldn't have it any other way! 7 years laters, Im a little older, with 2 boys and excited to find out "Who I am today!?"
Outlets, we all could use them. When you plug something in what happens? Electricity. If you stick something else into an outlet, what happens? Spark. That's exactly it! Spark! I need an outlet to put a little spark into my life! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being a mom, and girlfriend to my wonderful Man ( baby daddy =) of 7 years but Being at home, I have lost myself in dirty diapers, cleaning, and taking care of my family. Again, I would not have it any other way, but I have been stopping more frequently and asking myself.... "Aside from a fabulous young mom housewife, ( 7 years, common law right?!?!) Who am I? I drive Nic crazy with this thought because like every simple man he says " well just go out and do something for yourself." Yeah, that's a wonderful Idea if I knew what I wanted to do or even better.... If I had someone to do it with! What do I like? Well, at this point in my life, I like talking to adults! Nic can contest to that! He walks in the door and I am worse then that annoying dog that doesn't stop humping your leg. I follow him around they house telling him about all the things that the boys did, where we should vacation if we ever get a chance and extra money, all the "facts" that I learned that day, the quiz that I took in my magazine (because those articles don't lie), what Dr. Phil was about, what size & color Cheech's ( my youngest, not really his name but we will talk about that later) poop was, how many time I had to yell to Cheese ( my oldest, Again not his real name, Im not like Gywnath P. and name my kids after food) "Stay out of the Kitchen!" Nobody wants to hear about my mommy adventures, especially other women my age! At least Nic has no choice in the matter. If he is at least pretending to listen, I'm happy! Yes, I am 25 with a 6 and a 2 year old! That's my crazy fun life but between my youth and double tall lattes, I do just fine! Ok, so back to the outlet, spark, electricity saying I came up with ( which I would have to say I think is pretty clever). I am making this my year. Its Nico time! I am going to be the "YES GIRL" Ok, that sounds a little dirty, let me explain.... I am going to say yes to just about anything and everything! Well, maybe that didnt clarify well enough. I am going to try new things & make a list of what I want in life and do it! Here is my list so far.....
1. I am going to blog, get stuff off my chest so I don't have to drive my man crazy with my compulsive thinking! I can drive others crazy with my compulsive writing!
2. Nic and I are going to go on more dates, If you can hear your child whining in the background, it does NOT count as a date.
3. I am going to go back to school. Now this is a big one, especially during this economy chaos. I want to set an example for my boys, learn something new, and prepare myself for the future.
4. Take a family vacation, A change of scenery is always good.
5.Learn to snowboard because its something Nic likes and I want to be able to share that with him.
6. Take a class or classes, maybe a wine class. I am working part time in a wine bar and have become so interested in wine. Maybe a salsa dancing class, where I can learn to shake my booty like Shikira, I wish. I also want to take a spanish class, learning a new language would be so great. 7. Volunteer " The purpose of life, is a life of purpose"
8. Have Girl nights!( First I have to finds some girls to have them with..haha) away from our men so we can talk about them over drinks! Yeah, I like that one.
These are a few on my mind. I feel like we only get one life so we need to explore and enjoy it and ourselves. I also believe if you are happy with who you are, you will be a better mother for it. I have been through quite the journey as a young mom. My mom passed in labor when I was 18, I had a baby a year later now my oldest has an uncle that is only a year older then him. I haven't had my mom to help with the mommy thing or give me advice, or really any mother to help me through this journey. It was been my own and how I have managed. All I have to do is look at my boys when they smile and I know I have done well so far. Ok, now excuse me while I go put Cheese in time out for yelling at his Cheech who is now crying! =)


  1. I'm Konstance from CM! If we lived close those girls night outs could be a reality! None of my gf's like to go out and have a good time and lately thats just what I need. I also am like a dog humping my man when he walks in the door, bc lets face it we crave adult interaction after being with kids all day lol.

  2. You have brought tears to my eyes. I am looking forward to following you on your blog! I am so proud of you! It has been a very crazy world for you & your baby daddys family as well and you have stayed consistant in being positive & continuing to look forward. You are a rollmodel for us all!

  3. Well said...I to could use a girls night out and wait for the clock to hit 6pm when the hubby comes home.....cuz i too starve for adult conversation! I look forward to reading your blog as you update...Take care:)